TURNS OUT I AM NOT FUNNY

So whilst sitting in my bedroom furiously jacking it to pictures of Cowboy Beebop hentai, I stopped and took of a sip of Lambrini whilst smoking my DRUGS which Paster sold me. It was THEN I finally realised. I am a wretched LITTLE shit. Really, I am ONLY going to get fatter and the height of MY journalistic career was THIS fucking WASTE Of EVERYTHING. I AM GOING TO DRINK and THEN TAKE SOME SLEEPING PILLS because I suck. But before I go here is an in-depth INTERVIEW with MYSELF. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. I AM DRUNK BTW! I DO DRUGS ALSO!

ME: Hi JOEY YOU ARE SUCH A FAT BASTARD!
Me: YEs I KNOW. I AM SUCH A FAGGOT
ME: Lol. Yes YOU ARE.
Me: Did YOU finish wanking to Cowboy Beebop?
Me: Yes. I AM ALL OUT OF SPUNK NOW
Me: lol. YES I BET YOU WISH you had a girlfriend
Me: NO. Not really
Me: WHy?
Me: Because I LOVE MY MOM
Me: We all LOVE Our MOMS Joey!
Me: NO! I want to FUCK HER
Me: REALLY?
Me: YES
Me: WELL SHE IS HOT !
Me: DO you remember when you caught the mailman screwing her?
Me: YES. I GOT A BONER
ME: lol. You said "boner"
Me: I then HAD Sex WITH MY GameBOy
Me: How Is That POSSIBLE?
Me; Well You just Have sex with battery CASE
Me; Your COCK must BE TINY!
Me: YES! It is.

Me: Oooooooooooooooh. SO DRUNK.
Me: YES DRINKING IS COOL
Me: I SMOKE WEED
Me: GTA TEH ROCKS
Me: SONY GAYSTATION ROFL
Me: METAL GEAR SOLID-COCK!
Me; Super Faggotry WORLD
Me; SONIC the WEEDHOG
M
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I LOVE CHELSEA ON MYSPACE. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?
I LOVE YOU! I TRIED SPYING ON YOU ONCE. I LIKE YOUR BREASTS
WILL YOU MARRY ME. BEFORE I DIE FROM DRYGS AND BOOZE. I CAN ME LUIGI AND YOU CAN BE MY MARRYIO! LOL